One is very popular. Two are neglected—and they shouldn’t be.

1. Just calm down

This is the classic method—everyone knows it, most have tried it in some form or another. Just take a deep breath, tell yourself you’re awesome & you can do it, maybe strike a power pose, then get out there and start talking. Such is the reputation of this “just try to chill out” method that many speakers aim to address nerves primarily by trying various ways of inducing calm. 

And it does work—sometimes. Depends on the person, the situation, the stakes, how prepared you are, your mood at the time, etc. It also has the benefit of being immediately actionable. You don’t need weeks of practice to inhale deeply. 

I think this approach pretty fragile though. As one student told me, “Trying to calm down helps maybe 10% of the time.” 10% is better than nothing, but it’s not much. Plus, it tends to lose effectiveness as the stage gets bigger and the stakes get higher. A strategy that abandons you in times of greatest need doesn’t inspire much confidence. 

Beyond its sketchy reliability, I believe this method carries two big risks. First, it teaches folks that unless they’re calm, they can’t speak well—that there is a linear relationship between nerves and speech quality. Which, first, is not true! Nerves may be an obstacle, but they needn’t spell speaking doom. (More on this in part 3.)

Second, if you start a speech by trying to calm yourself, there’s a good chance you’ll start by failing at something—since nerves don’t necessarily fade away through sheer force of will, and calming methods are fragile. Battling jitters & failing is both distracting and distressing—not great for nerves or speaking performance! 

So let’s keep looking. 

2. Identify & correct nervous-looking speech traits

Many folks have ingrained speaking patterns that look nervous--and they show up even when the speaker isn’t. Take fillers, for example—ums, uhs, likes, etc. These are a classic sign of nerves, and some people (current writer not excepted) use these regularly even when they’re as calm as a koala in a eucalyptus tree. 

In front of an audience, this pre-existing speech pattern can make the speaker look uneasy, regardless of their actual mental state. And since nerves can exacerbate ingrained speech traits (usually the bad ones, unfortunately), the ums may multiply like mad. 

Good news, though: There are ways to reduce fillers (and other nervous-looking traits, like excessive speed, low volume, tripping over words and others) through focused practice & feedback. (That’s where a coach like me comes in! 😀) Establish good speaking patterns in controlled speaking environments where nerves aren’t an issue, and those helpful habits are much more likely to stick with you later when the pressure is on. Put another way, if you can’t reduce your nervous-looking traits in those controlled environments, it’s awfully unlikely you’ll hide them under pressure. 

For many speakers, though, the whole problem is that nerves destroy their ordinarily solid speaking style. That’s where the third approach comes in. 

3. Aim to speak well even if you’re nervous 

I think this is the most neglected nerve management method—and the most valuable. Instead of battling nerves, it accepts them as a common, natural consequence of public speaking and looks for ways to deliver effectively anyway. And there are many—though that’s a topic for another article. 

When we see a great speaker expressing their ideas with apparently overflowing confidence, it’s easy to think, “If I were as comfortable up there as she is, I could speak well, too.” But frequently, those ostensibly chill presenters are quaking in their boots. They’ve just learned how to hide their fear from the audience and present powerfully regardless. 

Take it from the great Roman statesman Cicero: “Personally, I am very nervous when I begin to speak. Every time I make a speech, I feel I am submitting to judgment, not only about my ability but my character and honor.” That’s some serious angst! Yet Cicero was the most renowned orator of classical antiquity. 

I’m not saying debilitating nerves are inevitable, and you simply must accept that speaking will always be a harrowing experience. For some, perhaps, and teeth-gritting determination will have to see them through. Very possible, but still unpleasant. For others, learning how to keep nerves to a dull background unease will suffice. For still others, nervousness may eventually fade away, and speaking will be unremarkable or even enjoyable.

Who knows which camp you’ll fall into—and it may vary speech to speech anyway. Ultimately, therefore, the safest route is to plan for discomfort, not count on calm—and aim to excel either way.

Related posts:

• How to Handle Public Speaking Mistakes

• Public Speaking & the Fragility of Belief