Public Speaking Coaching & the Practice Paradox
This is kind of a risky concept for me to explore, as a person whose Entire Living depends on getting speech coaching clients. But honesty is the most exciting policy, so let’s go for it!
Credit: Stephan Pastis, Pearls Before Swine
The Paradox of Practice goes like this: If you practice speaking a whole lot, in a thorough & thoughtful way, you’ll probably improve plenty even if you don’t have a coach. After all, as I like to say, the best way to speak better is simply to speak until you’re better!
But! If you don’t have a coach, you’re probably not going to practice much—so you actually probably won’t get much better. The role of a coach, then, seems to be to sort of trick you into doing what you could do on your own if you really set your mind to it—especially with the aid of books & free resources online.
But before I send my professional and financial future up in smoke, let me explain why I think someone who knows this Paradox might still choose to hire a speaking coach.
Uncertainty can be paralyzing
“I read that animals make you look trustworthy, so. Meet Li’l CFO!”
Sure, the aspiring speaker can find a ton of guidance on the internet. “A ton,” though—there’s the rub. The sheer quantity of advice can be overwhelming, especially when different sources disagree. Which they often will—this is the internet, after all. (Not to mention that I think a lot of conventional speaking wisdom out there is either unhelpful or incorrect.)
The eager learner may also be stymied by wondering which advice applies to them, and to what extent—and for good reason! Whoever’s giving it hasn’t spoken to them, hasn’t listened to them speak, and doesn’t know them. Questions without clear answers arise, like “I think I’m loud enough already ... but should I be even louder? How can I tell?” “Am I doing this exercise right?” “How do I apply this in my typical communication situations?” “I’ve tried this tip before & it hasn’t seemed to work—why?” Unsure of whether they’re getting useful information or just wasting time, most folks will struggle to stay motivated in their research and practice.
What can clear away these clouds of doubt? A coach who watches you present & expertly assesses your abilities vis a vis your goals! & then identifies suggestions & ways of practicing that target your weaknesses and build on your strengths. Now you can develop your skills with the assurance of having a practice plan customized to you!
2. It’s much more efficient
Look, your time is valuable! People probably pay you for it! & poring over endless self-help youtube videos & articles while agonizing over such questions as those above wastes a lot of it—not to mention the risk of practicing irrelevant things or missing stuff you should be working on. Individual coaching, meanwhile, can swiftly hone in on what you need, prioritize it according to your speaking settings & objectives, and omit the rest. (At least, that’s how I do it.)
The efficiency doesn’t stop at the planning stage. As we go through sessions, I adjust how much time we spend on various speaking areas based on how difficult or easy they are for you to improve in. So, if you’re making rapid progress in (say) reducing fillers, then I’ll skim over the rest of my material there and focus on other things. If, on the other hand, inflection is especially tough for you, then I’ll reach further into the grab bag of tips & exercises to give you more tools to tackle it. Either way, this allocates your time wisely.
3. Expert, honest feedback
To really be effective, practice should be accompanied by feedback—a second set of eyes who can tell you how you’re developing. But the one-way-mirror that is online exploration doesn’t permit this.*
That said, in theory, real-life feedback on your speaking should be freely accessible—just ask someone to tell you what they think. But my students—who I often encourage to ask their peers for input—report two big obstacles here. First, they may not know someone they both feel comfortable asking. (What if they’re busy! What if we’re not friends? What if I don’t want to reveal my speaking troubles to my manager or coworkers?) A coach, on the other hand, can act as a confidential third party who won’t judge you for sharing your speaking fears or troubles. Plus, if they do this for a living, odds are they’ll have more & better insights than your average Joe.
Not sure if sincere …
Second, interestingly, my students often say that they don’t trust others to give them honest feedback. Not out of malice or anything—rather, from politeness. Which makes sense to me, actually. Most folks are nice, and will say “oh yeah no you were great!” pretty much no matter how you did. Delivering Constructive Feedback is a delicate skill, especially if it’s not in your area of expertise; and often people who ask for feedback are actually mainly looking for affirmation, so honest critique runs the risk of offending. No wonder people tend to take the safe route out & stick to compliments.
Conversely, a coach is paid specifically to give it to you straight—no hemming & hawing, no pulling punches to spare your feelings. (Though of course they should give feedback in a professional & supportive way, not gratuitously or harshly critical.) This lets you know with high confidence where you should be practicing—a clear direction that motivates you to keep up a good regimen.
4. Accountability gets results
The incentive logic here is straightforward: If you take a speaking class, odds are the coach will give you exercises to do at home. Then the next time you meet, they’ll ask you how practice is going. This is an awkward question to answer if you haven’t done anything! & on the flip side, it’s quite rewarding to be able to say if you have practiced, and have the improvements to show for it.
Sincerely disappointed in you.
I definitely ask my students at the start of each session about their practice/whether they did the homework. This isn’t so I can watch the delinquent squirm—that would be mean! This is a Positive & Encouraging sort of accountability—no guilt-tripping or “you’re only letting yourself down” lectures here. I ask so as to better plan out the session, and to hear about the student’s experience with practice. But whether they’ve prepared or not, folks generally tell me they appreciate the check-ins for accountability reasons.**
5. The road to successful self-directed practice
Of course you don’t need a coach forever—that would be superfluous and expensive! Once you’ve made tons of progress towards your speaking goals and know all of my relevant content for you, we usually wrap up sessions. Only now that your knowledge arsenal is full of proven tactics & practice methods, you can draw on them as needed to keep your skills sharp & growing, give yourself feedback, & reap the personal & professional rewards of effective communication along the way. Whatever modest amount of targeted practice you may still need, you should have no trouble finding the wherewithal to tackle. Which solves the Paradox of Practice! Post-coach, you can pretty easily coach yourself.
Now, if you’ve been going the self-directed route & seeing positive results with your speaking, that’s awesome! Keep practicing! But if it’s not working out super well thus far, I hope this article sheds light on why that might be. & if you’re ready to give speech coaching a try, I hope you’ll consider me!
*Except, unfortunately, for the “I hate this, ur the worst, never post again! 🤮” reactions online comment sections are known for.
**A caveat: Some of my students are just outrageously busy—their lives are 100% bananas, & they couldn’t possibly practice at home. This is 100% understandable, & by no means a disaster. They can just do their practice in-session with me—and if anything, it sorta makes sense that they would use our appointments to commit to spending at least an hour every week or so on their speaking development.
