Speakers who struggle with nerves are often told to “just believe in yourself”—tell yourself that you’ll do great, maybe repeat little affirmations like “I can do it!” or “I am confident!” in the mirror until you’re convinced. But when the big moment comes, those determined declarations often give way to the same old butterflies. 

Does that mean you’re doing it wrong? That if you redoubled your self-belief efforts—maybe upgraded to “There’s NO DOUBT I can do it! I am SUPREMELY confident! I am the BEST OF SPEAKERS!!”—you’d stay cool as a cucumber next time? 

Maybe. Everybody is different, psychology is complicated, and I’m not a psychologist. If this always works for you, great! You can probably stop reading, this article isn’t for you. But exceptions aside, my own experience and that of my students make me skeptical that raw self-belief is the path to public speaking comfort—especially if you’re starting out in a place of self-doubt. 

To explain, let me tell you an old fable of Roland the knight—“Sir Roland” to you. Roland was a nice enough guy, but not the bravest, and he was particularly petrified of jousting. The pressure of tournaments overwhelmed him, so he practically spent more time off of his horse than on it. Always defeated in the arena, he dreaded every exhibition. 

One day, some fellow knights decided to have a little fun at their nervous friend’s expense. “Behold!” they announced, “We found an enchanted lance that guarantees victory for anyone who wields it. Take the magical weapon, it’s yours!” Roland thanked them profusely, and they left smirking, thinking how funny it would be the next time Roland was summarily bounced off his horse. 

But a different funny thing happened. Now certain that losing was impossible, Roland fought fearlessly and ferociously. Soon, he was a jousting champion. Rumor has it even Sir Lancelot took a tumble at the end of Sir Roland’s lance. 

Shocked and chastened, the former tricksters came clean. “It’s just an ordinary lance, Roland,” they confessed. “Not even a little enchanted. You’re earning all these victories yourself. Turns out you were a great warrior all along! Now be a good chap and order us another round of ale with your tournament winnings.” 

But another funny thing happened. Instead of owning his success, Roland was deeply shaken at this news. Without the guarantee of success, his confidence shriveled, and he returned to his former losing ways. Hence why you’ve probably never heard of him. 

A depressing little tale, no? Sadly, I think it fits many who rely on self-belief-boosting to quell nerves. 

An initial burst of courage may propel you to speak up, and even last through a speech or two. Which is cool as far as it goes! But the bracing effect often fades as time passes, the stakes rise or distractions emerge. And heaven forbid you have a shaky presentation! These often cascade into crises of confidence, as the “enchanted lance” of self-belief is revealed as merely an ordinary weapon—helpful maybe, to some extent, but lacking guarantees. Disillusioned and wondering why this vaunted method failed, you may even be worse off than before. 

Now, I’m not against the occasional “hey, you got this!” pep talk. Taking a deep breath and remembering your practice & talents can be helpful, and certainly the opposite mindset—“I’m going bomb, I can’t do this!”—is decidedly unhelpful. But in my view, self-belief can’t be your only weapon, and cultivating the skills necessary to speak well even while terribly nervous is essential. 

That’s why my coaching process doesn’t ignore the potential power of self-generated confidence—but it doesn’t put all our eggs in that basket, either. Instead, we explore many practical and psychological methods for speaking well despite nerves, while working to boost your speaking skills so there are concrete improvements to have confidence in. 

This, in my view, is a far stabler, safer path to lasting public speaking confidence. 

Related posts:

• Three Approaches to Combatting Nervous Speaking

• How to Handle Public Speaking Mistakes